Lonely This Christmas
by Miadaisyc
Summary: What happens when it's Christmas in the loft but something seems to be wrong. What can be done? Grab a mince pie and some mulled wine and settle down for some Nick and Jess one-shot fluff, to help bridge the gap till the next new episode.


New Girl Fanfiction

By Miadaisyc

Nick and Jess Christmas based story, loosely following their relationship but not strictly adhering to it. (they haven't had the Cooler kiss).

References to Chicago and other episodes of New Girl.

Spurred on by some wonderful reviews and messages from my first story, I was inspired to follow up with this bit of Christmas fluff. Thanks again to Youhavemehooked for casting a professional eye. Apologies, but I just can't write sex scenes. I try but I can't make them sound sexy. If anyone wants to take on the mantle then I am more then fine with that!

I don't own anything – except my imagination!

**Lonely this Christmas**

**Date: December 21st**

Something was very wrong in the 4D loft. The guys could sense it and it made them nervous.

Schmidt was agitated so much he spent the day cleaning obsessively. Winston spent a lot if time in his room, with his cat Furguson, for company. Coach exercised – a lot. All the tension was making him edgy and it never hurt to keep his body buff for the laydeez.

Nick was in permanent turtle-face mode. The long shifts at the bar with so many annoying Christmas parties (_what did they have to be so happy about?_). The trouble was he couldn't even relax at home, the mood was so off there at the moment, and that made him cross too.

Nobody really had a clue why there was such a bad vibe in the air, but they all knew it must have something to do with their roommate Jess.

For two days now, Jess, their sunshine and rainbows, I love to sing a lot roommate seemed to be causing a huge shift in the loft dynamic.

It was Winston who noticed it first when he had casually asked her what she wanted for Christmas this year.

In previous years, Winston would have been subjected to an over-excited Jess reeling off a list of wonderful things, such as a beautiful new yarn or a vintage purse that would go with her new dress and there would be sparkles of joy and anticipation in her huge, clear blue eyes.

What he actually got was, "Oh, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it." Said in the flattest voice he'd ever heard from her.

It had shocked him so much he was lost for words and just stood and stared at Jess as she walked slowly back to her room.

When he told Nick, Coach and Schmidt later that day, Schmidt just said that it was probably her time of the month and that they had better steer clear for a while.

This had promptly cost him a ten-dollar contribution to the douchebag jar, much to his disgust.

Nick had tried to talk to Jess, thinking that she may open up a little to him. He had playfully asked why she hadn't baked any of his favourite snowman shaped gingerbread cookies yet, bearing in mind that the previous year saw the kitchen covered in flour and icing sugar and so many cookies, that they were still eating them well into the new year!

He was greeted with a blank look magnified though Jess's thick rimmed glasses and a curt suggestion that if he wanted snowman cookies he should bake them himself. Why should she always make them, just because she was a girl? Nick just watched her with a stunned look on his face as she went off in a huff ranting about feminine oppression and votes for women.

_Yes_, Nick thought to himself, there was something terribly wrong with Jess and it was up to him (or maybe even Julius Pepperwood) to find out what.

**Date: December 22nd**

Nick woke early and made his way to the kitchen. He poured himself a strong coffee and made himself a bowl of cereal. He sat at the table chewing thoughtfully and nodded to each of his roommates as they did the same.

Jess came in last of all and walked slowly into the kitchen. Her hair was dishevelled around her shoulders and the skin around her eyes was looking a bit dark. It was clear to them all she wasn't sleeping well. Nick just watched as she fixed herself a cup of tea, staring blankly into space as the kettle boiled. She hadn't even said 'good morning' which was something she always did. She seemed to be lost in thought as she stirred her tea and picked up the mug.

"Hey Jess", said Nick, in an attempt to snap her out of her silence, but it came out louder than expected and took her by surprise. Jess jolted, alert but in doing so, splashed her tea over her hand and the counter.

"Nick!" Jess shouted, "Why did ya yell like that? Look what you made me do ya dummy!"

She grabbed a cloth and cleaned the spill on the counter before quickly running her scalded hand under the cold tap. She bit her bottom lip to try and dispel the tears that had sprung to her eyes. With her back to the guys she tried to compose herself.

After a few minutes her hand felt better, it wasn't a bad scald, so she dried her hand on a towel and grabbed her mug. She turned and looked at the guys all staring at her from around the table in stunned silence. Her eyes caught Nick's hurt expression and she lowered her eyes to the ground, instantly regretting her harsh words. He hadn't deserved that; it wasn't his fault. They just didn't understand.

She looked up again and smiled weakly, and made her way quickly to her room.

Nick was just dumfounded. What had he done to upset her? This was so unlike Jess. Usually if there was something troubling her or if he had done something they would talk it out or at least have a row to clear the air. Jess never liked to live in a bad atmosphere. She was the one who spoke her feelings constantly – too much in his opinion, and she was always trying to get him to share more. It was established right from the moment she had moved in – Nick was the grumpy one and Jess was the happy, sunshine girl.

But it seemed that the sunshine was missing, and Nick hoped that it was only temporary.

He heard Jess's door click shut, he turned to the others and suggested in a low tone, a loft meeting later that day to discuss this – whatever this is.

They all agreed to meet at 6pm that evening after work, Nick said he'd call Cece to take Jess out for a drink or something and maybe she could find out just what the hell was wrong with her.

Cece was confused to see Nick's number come up on her cell phone as she was getting ready that morning. Surely he didn't want her to pick up another take away order, and was just going to answer the call with some strong words, when he hear Nick's voice sounding a little off his usual self. Something was wrong. She listened as he spoke about Jess's change of character at the moment. She had noticed it too but was hoping it would just lift. _Jess never was low for long, well except that time after Spencer had cheated on her, but that was exceptional. It couldn't be that bad again, could it?_

Cece tuned back into what Nick was saying, she could hear the concern in his voice, _my god_, she thought, _he really does love her_, she grinned to herself, smug in the knowledge that she had seen this happening from the get go.

She heard Nick ask, "Well what do you think?" And she agreed on the spot to take Jess out to the bar that night. She would ply her with alcohol, Jess was always more talkative after a glass of wine, and she would call Nick the minute she found something out.

'Hey Jess, bar 2nite?'

'Sorry C, not in mood. :-( Jx'

'Pleeeze babe, I need company. I'm paying! ;-) X'

Jess was on her bed staring at the phone. She sighed a big sigh before sending her reply.

'Fine, what time?'

'Gr8, pick u up at 6 X.'

Jess put down her phone and stared at the ceiling, she wasn't really in the mood for drinking, but it sounded like Cece wanted to talk about something, probably her love life. _Oh well_, she thought, _it beats sitting in my room all night moping_. With a quick glance at her clock; 3:45pm, time for a shower and get changed before Cece arrives and she really must start thinking about what to get everyone for Christmas. She has been putting it off for days, ever since…well she wasn't going to think of that now, but there isn't much time left to get it all done.

At 6pm, after many changes of outfit, (she decided to play it safe with a simple blue dress, black tights and black shoes and a black cardigan ensemble. She really didn't want to attract attention that night. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail.), she was ready to go. She emerged from her room and was a little taken aback to see Nick, Winston, Schmidt and Coach all sitting in a row on the couch (reminiscent of the day of her rebound date) with Cece standing in the doorway. Why were they staring at her, it was all a little creepy.

"See ya later guys, I'm going out with Cece, I'll be back later ok?"

"Fine" they all chimed in unison, they had tried to sound casual but not succeeded and it made Jess's eyes widen with surprise.

"C'mon Jess, lets go. There's a bottle of wine chilling with our name on it!" said Cece trying to dispel the weirdness and just shook her head at the guys. She held her look with Nick for a second sharing a tiny nod of understanding, before ushering Jess to the front door.

Nick waits a few minutes after the door closes to make sure that Jess doesn't come running back for something she's forgotten, and he goes to the fridge and grabs a few bottles of Heisler to get the meeting underway.

"So, what the hell do we think is wrong with Jess? And how can we fix it? Nick wastes no time in getting straight to the point.

The guys look at each other, each with a blank look.

Nick continues; "It's Christmas in a couple of days and every other year she drives us nuts with the decorations and singing Christmas songs at us. She's a goddamned Christmas elf for Christ's sake, but this year…" he trails off and gestures around him with a wide sweeping arm. "It's like the loft that Christmas forgot in here!"

"She hasn't even baked any cookies." Piped in Schmidt sadly.

"Exactly!" Exclaimed Nick loudly, "Jess is off her game this year and it's throwing us all out of whack. We need to get this sorted before we go away, I can't come back to a depressive Jess".

"Cece is going to try and find out what is going on tonight, but I think we need to do something to try and cheer her up. Any ideas?"

"Well I can't afford to buy anything, what with my flight home and all," said Winston and Coach nodded in agreement.

"Perhaps I could give her a piece of Schmidt, maybe she's just horny? I'd totally take one for the team!" Schmidt looked at his friends and new instantly this was going to cost him.

"JAR" was the unanimous cry from the guys, "Twenty Bucks Schmidt!"

As he crammed the notes into the already overstuffed jar, he says with a shrug "Well, what can we do?"

Nick runs a hand over his face in contemplation, it finally resting on his chin, stroking at the two day old stubble residing there.

"What if we bring Christmas to Jess?" he says slowly, "Every year she decorates this place with all that crap even though we don't care, but she does. How about this year we surprise her by decorating the loft? We can get Cece to keep Jess out of the way tomorrow, and we can turn this place into a Christmas palace for her. What do you think?

The guys' look at each other then back to Nick a look of reticence on their faces, but Nick was on a roll. "Come on guys, it's been a tough year for her what with her new job and all. It won't take us long or cost us anything. You know how much she loves the lights. Just remember her face when we went to Candy Cane lane. It's the least we can do".

They all nodded in agreement and a plan was set. Each person had a task. Schmidt decided to tackle the baking. He was a domestic god after all. He decided to make the gingerbread snowmen cookies and Christmas cupcakes to rival Martha Stewart.

Winston and Coach were on decorations and music. They were going to cover the loft in tinsel and fairy lights and Winston was tasked with making paper snowflakes.

Nick was on tree duty. He would hunt down the perfect tree for the loft that would make Jess go weak at the knees, and he was going to decorate it within an inch of it's life.

"So we're all agreed then? As soon as Jess goes out tomorrow, we will set this plan in motion." They all clinked their beer bottles together to seal the deal.

In the bar, Cece was getting closer to getting Jess to spill. As much as she wanted to credit her talents as a great best friend and amazing listener, she knew it probably had more to do with the two bottles of pink wine she had consumed.

They were sat together in a booth near the back of the bar; the last thing Cece wanted was for guys hitting on them, but it seemed to be quiet there so far.

Jess was slumped a little, her head in one hand and the other playing with the stem of her glass. Her eyes were soft and slightly unfocussed with the effects of the wine, and it was definitely making her more unguarded in her speech.

Cece was drinking slowly, she needed a clear head for this, and Jess did not seem to notice as Cece kept topping up her drink.

Jess sighed deeply as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Cece took this as a sign to start gently probing her for answers.

"So sweetie, what's eating you? You seem to have lost your sparkle."

Jess lifter her head a little and faced Cece, a sad little look in her eyes. Should she lie and say '_nothing_' and leave it at that. But she knew she couldn't. Looking into her best friend's concerned face, she knew she couldn't lie and she was tired of carrying this burden on sadness with her. It was eating her up inside. She was being mean to the people she loved the most and they didn't deserve it, but at the same time she couldn't help herself.

Taking another sip of her wine, she shook her head decisively and let it all out.

She told Cece how she had been looking forward to Christmas ever since the beginning of December and how she would spend they day itself with her mom, Joan, in their pyjamas and watching sentimental Christmas movies. This is what they always did; it was their thing. The next day she would go to her dad's, Bob, and chill out with him. Unwrap presents and just chat about things whilst she cooked. It was tradition.

She stopped there, Cece looked at Jess, dreading what was to come next.

Jess continued to tell her that, two days before Joan had called with exciting news. She had been invited to go to a retreat in Miami with some friends over Christmas and New Year, but she had wanted to let her little girl know first before saying yes. Jess's heart sank at this but she had heard the excited tone in her mom's voice and couldn't object. Joan had said that Jess could spend the whole of Christmas with her dad and that it would be great.

Jess rallied at that thought and wished her mom a Happy Christmas and they exchanged 'I love you's before ringing off.

Cece smiled sympathetically at Jess and agreed that it was sad she wouldn't be spending time with her mom, but that it wasn't all bad.

Jess just looked at Cece, "I haven't finished yet," she stated.

It seemed that Jess had wanted to call her dad straight away to confirm that she would be coming to him on Christmas Eve and staying all over the Christmas period. On the third ring he had picked up and greeted Jess happily. Jess started to talk about her plans for visiting when he had dropped a bombshell. He was going to spend this Christmas with a new lady-friend. They were both on their own and it seemed like a good idea. He was actually going to call and let her know later that day, but she'd beaten him to it.

Jess had felt like crying. Both her mom and dad had plans for the holidays that didn't include her. She was going to be alone for Christmas. She decided not to tell Bob this, as he knew it would upset him and would probably have him shouting about how inconsiderate her mother was for being so selfish. Jess really didn't want to stir anything up, so she had just kept quiet and wished him a happy Christmas too.

The second he had rung of, she had burst into tears and had been in a sad mood ever since.

Cece was stunned, she watched as Jess downed the rest of her wine and poured herself another. Her best friend in the world, the nicest, kindest person ever was going to be alone at Christmas. She thought this was the saddest thing she'd ever heard.

Cece was working over Christmas, Vogue had asked her to do a bikini shoot in the Bahamas all expenses paid, and she had jumped at the chance. There was no way Jess could afford a ticket to come with her and it was asking too much to ask her agency to pay for her friend to come. Besides, Jess liked her Christmas to be traditional; this would not be her scene at all.

She asked Jess if she had told the boys (already knowing the answer), Jess almost burst her eardrums when she shouted "NO!"

The _no_ echoed round the bar and people stared in their direction. Cece raised a hand in apology.

When asked why, Jess had said that the guys were all going back to their families for the holidays and that she didn't want to do anything that might ruin it for them. The guys were all so good to her that if they found out they might do something silly like cancelling their plans and staying with her. Just look at what they did when her rebound date hadn't showed. They left a high profile party just to make sure she was ok, and they barely knew her then. No, she wasn't going to spoil their holidays with her misery. She would keep quiet and spend Christmas alone.

Overwhelmed by emotion and wine, Jess excused herself to go to the bathroom to freshen up. Cece watched her stagger away and quickly grabbed her phone. Nick needed to know – now.

She quickly garbled the gist of the conversation to Nick, and was gratified when she heard his sharp intake of breath; he was shocked too. He had filled her in on his plan to decorate the loft and they conspired together to get Jess out of the loft early for some Christmas shopping at the mall.

Cece saw Jess arriving back and said a hurried goodbye.

From the look of her, Jess needed to go home, she had been crying again and her eyes were tinged with red and her cheeks flushed. Cece hailed a cab whilst holding her friend steady on the pavement outside.

Jess held on to Cece, the sudden cold air of night hitting her like a sledgehammer. She didn't know how long she would be able to stay awake.

The cab pulled up and Cece helps her into the back and gives the driver the loft address, luckily it wasn't far.

All the way home Jess was singing 'Blue Christmas' her sultry voice making the song really bringing out the melancholy of the lyrics. Cece hugged her friend close, and stroked her hair. "Not if I can help it Jess," she whispered and said a mental prayer that the guys would come through for her.

Cece managed to get Jess, now asleep on her feet, into the lift and she text Nick for a little assistance. He was waiting as the doors opened on the fourth floor. He and Cece exchanged a look. Jess was still drowsily singing 'Blue Christmas' her eyes closed and tears rolling down her cheeks. Nick thought his heart would break at this moment, seeing her like this. He leaned Jess against his body then reached down to lift her bridal style. She was so light and just moulded against his body with a light sigh. He carried her to her room, and tenderly put her down. Cece had followed behind and helped her off with her clothes and dressed her in her pyjamas while Nick went to get some water and aspirin she would no doubt need later.

Jess was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and they both watched her sleep for a few minutes like concerned parents.

Nick escorted Cece back to the door and wished her good night. They were both resolved that tomorrow things would change.

**Date: December 23rd**

Jess awoke the next day with the hangover from hell. Her head thumped in time with the alarm clock as it rang mercilessly. She reached over and thumped it off, cautiously opening one eye and squinting in the harsh light that was streaming through her curtains.

She saw the glass of water and aspirins someone had thoughtfully put on her night stand and swallowed a couple down gratefully.

Her eyes adjusted to the light in the room and she saw a note propped up by her lamp.

Hey Jess,

Don't forget, you promised to come Christmas shopping with me tomorrow. So get yourself sorted with some comfortable shoes. I'll be picking you up early (8.30am to be precise) so we can get the good stuff!

Love

Cece XO

Jess rolled onto her back and flung an arm over her face. Could she face the mall today? Another quick look at the clock told her it was 7.48am. '_Arrgh_!' she growled and jumped out of bed; a little too quickly as the room swam for a moment, and she looked down at her pyjama clad body, she didn't actually remember coming home and putting those on last night!

Half an hour later she was showered and dressed and drinking a well needed detox tea at the kitchen island. Her jaded eyes making their way down her hastily written Christmas present list.

Jess still wasn't in the mood for shopping but she knew it was now or never and her night out in the bar seemed to have made her feel a little better. Somehow more unburdened, but she couldn't remember why.

She scanned the list trying to commit it to memory. The guys were pretty easy to buy for, they had such distinct personalities. She had listed different possibilities for each person, and would make up her mind when she was at the mall.

Jess frowned as she got to Nick's name with a big question mark by it. She picked up the pen and tapped it against her teeth as she wracked her brain for an idea of what to buy him. He was such an enigma. He was her best friend in the loft (not including Cece) but he was also something more than that. They'd really gotten close over the last year, especially after Walt's funeral. It seemed to be unspoken between them but they were spending more time together, sitting closer together on the couch. Looks and glances seem to be more intense, yet she never laughs so much as she does when she is with him. Could there be something more then friendship there? It might explain why her heart beats a little faster when she sees him. It was all so scary and confusing. Should she risk ruining what they have now if she mentions it? What if he panics or worse, laughs at her?

She shakes her head briskly, she can't think about that now, her task was to find the perfect gift. A pack of beer, no that was a cop out. He works in a bar and he doesn't need more encouragement to drink. Was a sweater too impersonal, she shakes her head again; no he may think it a comment on the way he looks?

Goodness this was tricky this year. Jess knew that she wanted something that would mean something special.

The guys saw Jess off with Cece at 8.30am, Coach kept watch to make sure that they didn't come back. When all was clear he gave the thumbs up signal and they all sprang into action. Operation 'Jingle Bells' as Schmidt has named it (costing him another five dollars in the jar) was on.

Schmidt checked all the kitchen cupboards making a list of everything he needed to whip up a culinary storm. A quick trip to the store would sort out what was missing. He banished everyone from the kitchen until he was ready.

Meanwhile, Coach and Winston paid a visit to their landlord, Remy, they needed to borrow a stepladder, at first he was sceptical, but they explained it was for Jess and he relented. It seemed Remy still had a soft spot for their roommate.

Coach started on the lights, cursing as he untangled the knotted mass, but once he got started, he covered every pole and surface he could find. The loft was going to sparkle.

Winston was busy too, he had scoured YouTube for tutorials on paper snowflake making and after a few tries, found he could produce something quite good. He crept into Jess's room and found her craft corner. There was a wealth of paper, glitter and scissors stashed away. He felt a bit guilty rummaging through Jess's things, but he reasoned that it was all for her that he was doing it so he brushed the feeling off.

Armed with everything he needed, he went back to the table to make snowflake after snowflake. In a couple of hours he'd made enough to create a veritable blizzard in the loft. He'd seen the film Elf; he knew how amazing it would look! Pleased with his industry he and coach set about hanging them from the ceiling and the windows till 4D resembled an ice palace. Jess was going to love it.

Nick watched with pride as his friends worked like crazy. He knew they all had a soft spot for Jess too and that in their hearts they were doing a great thing. He grabbed his car keys and jacket and announced he was going hunting for a tree. It made him feel manly in his flannel shirt and jeans, going off to the wilderness (in this case a disused car lot) to bring home the family tree. He had not felt like this in a long time. He thought back to the years at home in Chicago when his father Walt would turn up drunk on Christmas Eve with a half dead tree someone had obviously discarded. No, Christmas in the Miller household was never great; though he and his ma would try and make it happy for his little brother Jamie. Nick just felt let down all the times Walt would not make it to Christmas dinner that Bonnie had so lovingly slaved over. He vowed, he would never ever do that to his kids. No matter what, they would have the best he could provide.

With a determined look set on his face, Nick drove to the lot where he knew he could get a tree. He parked a little distance away and looked around the now sparse selection. This close to Christmas, what else did he expect? He frowned as looked at the trees, too straggly, too tall, no needles, too expensive. They all seemed flawed and time was ticking on. He caught sight of one, it was leaning a little, but it seemed to have a good shape and not too many gaps. It was about five foot tall and seemed to tick all of the boxes. Nick looked at the price tag, within his range, so he motioned to the seller that he was interested. The guy looked at Nick, he'd had a good day so he knocked off a few dollars off the price, as it was so late in the day. Nick looked shocked and thanked him as he handed over the cash. _Jess would have loved to have had witnessed that_ he thought, someone showing kindness, when he thought the whole world was against him. Perhaps this is the spirit of Christmas working.

He tied the tree securely to the roof of the car and headed back to the loft. Just enough time to get it decorated and grab a beer before the girls got back from the Mall.

Back at the loft, he rang Coach to help him lug the tree into the lift. It was a bit of a squeeze on the ride up. Coach had decided to walk rather than have tree branches poking him. Between them both, they wrestled the tree into the apartment and settled it into the corner by the wall. The lean wasn't too bad really. It was 3pm, the girls would be back at 5.30pm – time to trim the tree and it was all hands on deck.

Nick ventured into Jess's room and found her box of tree decorations from where they had put them the previous year. It was full of her favourite decorations, collected over many years, each one a memory.

He recalled Jess telling him the story behind each and every one last year, as he had been reluctantly press-ganged in to help. This year he handled each one, pausing to think how much this meant to Jess. It made him feel sad but happy that something so simple could bring a glorious smile to her beautiful face. He desperately needed to see her smile again.

It didn't take long to trim the tree, and by 4.45pm they were done. Coach had worked his magic with the lights again and Schmidt had even baked some cookie decorations to go on the tree. Nick had the last task of putting the star on the top. Winston flipped the switch on and the loft twinkled and shone with Christmas.

The guys grabbed a beer and sat on the couch, each person took a moment to admire their handiwork. They clinked beers in a silent congratulatory toast and waited for Jess to arrive back.

Nick, however, had another thing to attend to first, so he left the guys sampling Schmidt's Christmas cooking and arguing over who had done the best job; while he slipped into his bedroom and closed the door.

At 5.30pm Cece and Jess rode up in the lift together both tired and festooned with bags of presents. It had been a really great day. After a shaky start, no doubt caused by the hangover, they had hit the shops – hard. Cece already had most of her presents sorted so she helped Jess choose the perfect things for her roommates.

They searched for a present for Coach first – easy. They stepped into the nearest sports store and picked out a great hooded top and a t-shirt with his favourite ball team emblazoned on the front.

Next was Winston, they found some cute cat toys for Furguson and settled on a very smart sweater that they both agreed would suit him very well.

Cece and Jess had giggled helplessly over all the possibilities for what they could get Schmidt, but finally settled on a set of designer men's grooming products.

Jess had managed to find a gorgeous silver bracelet with a delicate star hanging from it for Cece, though it had been hard to get her to disappear while she bought it.

Just the one present left to buy. The hardest one of all! No matter what she looked at, nothing seemed right. Time was pressing on and they were both getting weary and a bit cross with all the crowds of people. Jess reasoned that there was still time and she could always give Nick his gift when he came back from Chicago after Christmas, she was sure he wouldn't mind.

The lift pinged to announce their arrival at the fourth floor and they both made their way slowly to the door of 4D. Jess rummaged in her bag for her keys and Cece was aware of shuffling and whispering behind the door. She shot a look at Jess, blissfully unaware!

They shuffled through the door, Jess shocked to find the loft in complete darkness. She was sure they guys would be there by now, lights blazing, TV on shouting at each other, but no the apartment was pitch black and silent.

Dropping her bags in the doorway, she went to switch on the main light, but was surprised when the loft magically seemed to light up of it's own accord.

Jess's eyes widened to the size of saucers as she stared at the beautiful sight around her. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed, a hand flying to her mouth now open wide in shock. She didn't know where to look first. She abandoned her bags and ran into the room whirling around trying to take everything in at once. Cece, grinning shuts the door and walks in too. Jess can't believe what she is seeing. It is all so beautiful. Lights are twinkling at her from every surface. She looks up and sees all the beautifully cut snowflakes, each one as unique as a real snowflake. They appear to be falling from the sky. Was she in fairyland? Grinning at everything, her eyes now moist with happy tears, she spies the tree in the corner and lets out a soft breath. She walks over to it slowly, scared that it is a mirage and that by touching it, it will all suddenly disappear.

She reaches out to one of the decorations, instantly recognising that these are her treasured possessions. How was this possible?

With tears in her eyes she turns to Cece, "is this your doing?" she asked.

"Nothing to do with me babe," she grinned back and pointed her elegant finger at the three guys now making their way towards her. They were all smiling widely, each one delighting in the expression of joy on Jess's face. Schmidt had even put on his Santa hat from his 'sexy Santa' days.

Jess ran to her roommates and threw her arms around them; tears of joy streaming uncontrollably down her face. She hugged them all tightly till they could hardly breathe. "I can't believe you did this guys. This is amazing, beautiful, stunning!" she muffled into their chests.

When they eventually broke apart, all gasping for air, Nick spoke up – " Happy Christmas Jess, you seemed a bit down just recently and we wanted to cheer you up. We know how much you love this time of year."

"Do you like it?"

"Like it? Nick I LOVE it so much, I can barely find the words."

Nick laughs at this thinking how much his roommate loves to talk.

"I can't believe you did this all for me to make me happy." Her voice cracking a little with the emotion of it all.

Schmidt hands her a snowman cookie and a glass of wine. She looks at him with a happy and wry smile, remembering what she had said about them making them for themselves. She had been awful to them and they still had done this…for her.

She felt ashamed.

"This is amazing you guys, and that tree…"

"Yeah sorry Jess," cut in Nick. "It leans a bit, but all the good ones had gone this close to Christmas…"

Jess fixes him with a strong gaze, her eyes soft and teary, "It's perfect." She whispers.

At 7 o'clock Cece gets up to leave. She hugs Jess tightly and says that she will be back for the loft Christmas Eve lunch.

Jess sees her to the door and waves her goodbye. The guys are playing computer games on the couch and laughing and shouting at each other. Jess just stares at them fondly. This is her loft family having fun at Christmas and tomorrow afternoon she will be on her own. She sighs and pushes the thought out of her mind. Tonight, she has to wrap her presents. She grabs the bags from the doorway; it's a miracle that no one has peeked, and makes her way to her room, grabbing a plate full of cookies on her way through. She warns the guys that she is not to be disturbed for the next hour or so and closes the door behind her.

Jess wastes no time in wrapping the gifts, smoothing out the shiny paper and carefully taping the edges in crisp folds. Adding the final touches of a label beautifully written and curled ribbons for effect. Perfect and ready to go under the tree when the guys were asleep.

She is still troubled by the lack of gift for Nick. She thinks about what he has done for her today, sure in the knowledge that decorating the apartment had been his idea. He had even chosen a tree, for her, knowing how much it would mean to her. That was true friendship. Her heart swelled with joy at the thoughtfulness and dare she say…love; that had gone into the decorations. It meant more to her than any store bought gift ever could.

An idea popped into her head, it made her blush a little but, perhaps now it was the right time. She grabbed a notepad and pen and started to write, pausing occasionally to re-read and smile secretively. She finally knew what to give Nick for a present.

She was startled a little by a knock at her door; it was Nick asking if she'd like some tea. With a grin on her face she replied "yes" and that she would be out in five minutes.

She emerged from her room true to her word, and grabbed her tea from the counter and flopped onto the couch between Nick and Winston. Coach had gone to his room to do some packing and Schmidt was doing some last minute laundry.

The boys were watching some old time gangster movie and were deeply engrossed. Jess leaned against Nick's shoulder, seeking out a little comfort as she usually did and without any awkwardness he moved his arm across her shoulder so she could nestle in more against him. It's what they always did when watching movies.

Nick stole a look at Jess's face. She looked tired but a lot happier and he smiled to himself. He liked it when they watched movies like this and instinctively knew that she would fall asleep before too long, her head on his shoulder.

It felt right to him, like she was made to fit against him, like a perfect puzzle piece.

The thought of her alone, on Christmas day just broke him up inside. He strokes her arm distractedly and she snuggles into him further. Just a friend comforting another…no big deal.

**Date: December 24th – Christmas Eve.**

The usual Christmas Eve panic was in full flow. Everyone running around like headless chickens and Jess watching them all with an amused look on her face.

Schmidt couldn't find his driving moccasins and was blaming Nick at the top of his voice. Winston was turning the loft upside down looking for Furgusons' favourite catnip toy.

Coach having already packed his bag, decided that now was the time to play a little indoor basketball and getting under everyone's feet.

As it was Jess's last day with them all, she was making them all a special Christmas Eve lunch that they could all sit round the table and eat together. Cece was coming over to join them before jetting off to sunnier climes.

There wasn't very much left in the loft cupboards. They were running stocks low as nobody was going to be there for the holidays, or so they thought. Jess decided not to draw any attention to this by buying more food, and was going to wait until everyone had left before running to the store.

After careful searching, she found that she could put together a great pasta dish, and there was a bit of salad left to go with it.

Jess even made an apple pie for desert. She was really going to make this a special meal.

Cece arrived baring gifts for everyone that she placed around the tree. (Jess had gotten up early that morning to set hers out.) She also had a bottle of Champagne which they duly opened.

At 2 o'clock she called them all together and lit the candles on the table. Everyone marvelled at the trouble Jess had gone to. There were linen napkins neatly folded and the food brought in, in decorative bowls. Candles lit the table and the champagne was bubbling in the glasses in the places.

Before they all ate, Jess stood up and raised her glass.

"I just wanted to say that you guys are the best things in my life and I couldn't imagine anywhere that I'd rather be right now then with you, my loft family. Thank you for making this place look so magical and I am sorry if I have been moody recently. Merry Christmas you guys."

Jess choked back a tear on the last words, and tried to hide it when she drank her champagne. They all in turn raised their glasses and repeated the toast, wishing her a Merry Christmas too. They all looked a little emotional, especially Schmidt who pretended to have something in his eye.

The food was consumed with everyone chatting about his or her plans. No-one seemed to notice that Jess was a little quiet. No-one that is except Nick and Cece who exchanged knowing glances above her head.

After lunch, presents were exchanged, as they gathered round the tree. Paper was torn in excited haste and shouts of delight and thanks were uttered from everyone. Jess apologised to Nick that his gift wasn't ready, but would be by the time he got back from Chicago. Nick said it didn't matter and his thoughts immediately turned to the prospect of something knitted. He could certainly wait for that!

One by one, after lunch they drifted away to start their journeys home. Cece was the first to go and hugged them all fondly before grabbing her case to meet the waiting taxi.

The guys left with bro hugs and shoulder punches, not wanting to look unmanly. Though they all gave Jess a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

As each person left, Jess felt her bravado slip. Her heart was breaking at the thought of being alone. Nick was the last to leave, and Jess didn't think she could cope with saying goodbye. She lingered on his hug, burying her head in his chest to avoid his gaze. She breathed him in deeply.

Nick kissed the top of her head and whispered "Merry Christmas Jessica" and he grabbed his battered case and headed for the lift. He chanced a look back in time to see Jess closing the door, tears streaming down her face.

**Date: December 25th Christmas Day.**

The alarm read 6.30am. Jess stared at it bleary eyed. She'd gone to bed early that night and cried herself to sleep. _Was there any point in getting up today_? She wondered.

Still she was awake now and was craving a cup of tea. Jess went to the bathroom first to wash her face – her eyes were still a little red and her cheeks were stained with salty tears. The cold water soothed her face and felt good against her skin. She cleaned her teeth for good measure and immediately felt better.

She was still dressed in her favourite Christmas pyjamas (red flannel with reindeer on them) and she put her slippers on and shuffled into the kitchen.

_Hang on_, she thought, _she hadn't left the Christmas lights on last night had she? _She tried to remember, but having finished off the bottle of Champagne yesterday her memory was a bit fuzzy.

She flicked the switch to boil the kettle and reached up to get her mug from the cupboard and grabbed a tea bag from the box.

When it was ready she took her mug over to the couch and just stared at the tree. It was so beautiful. She remembered Nick's gift and went into her room to get it. A simple envelope containing what she hoped would be the perfect present. She placed it in the branches where he would be sure to see it when he came home.

She sat back down on the couch and wrapped a blanket that was draped over the arm, around her shoulders.

A shuffling noise made Jess sit up, alert and she stared around her in a panic. _Oh my god,_ she thought, _I'm alone in the loft and there are strange noises, and I can't call anyone to help me. _

She looked around for a potential weapon to defend herself with but found nothing, so she did the next best thing and put the blanket over her head. Perhaps if whatever it is couldn't see her, then it would just go away.

"Jess"

The sound of her name made her sit up; the blanket still drawn over her. Was she dreaming? Was this the ghost of Christmas past? Her imagination was running wild, but still she wouldn't come out from under the blanket.

"Jess, Merry Christmas."

The voice spoke again, quiet and low. Jess thought it sounded like Nick, but it couldn't be she reasoned. He was in Chicago with his family.

"Jess, for Christ's sake come out from under that blanket!"

The voice was more insistent now and she slowly lowered the blanket so that only her eyes were visible.

"Nick" she squealed loudly and flung the blanket completely off her. "Why aren't you in Chicago? Did you miss your flight AGAIN?

" I knew you were home alone Jess and I just couldn't let that happen. Not on Christmas day."

He watched as Jess's mouth opened and closed in surprise.

"How did you find out?"

"Cece told me the night you went to the bar. Don't blame her; we were all worried about you. You have been acting so strange recently. Something was wrong; we could all feel it. Why didn't you tell me Jess, I thought we were friends?" he asked quietly.

"For just this reason, I didn't want you to do something that would spoil your Christmas. I know you Nick, you always try to protect me. And here you are, away from your family because of me." Jess started to cry, her voice getting a little louder.

"I've ruined your Christmas." She dropped back on the couch and covered her eyes with her hands. She didn't want him to see her so upset.

Nick kneels down in front of her and gently prises her hands from her face to look into her eyes.

"Hey, you've ruined nothing Jess. How could I go home and enjoy Christmas knowing that you were here alone. I could barely stand knowing it these past couple of days. I hate seeing you in pain. It was breaking my heart." He said softly.

"But what about your mom, Nick? And Jamie? They will be waiting for you."

"I called my mom a couple of days ago to tell her I wouldn't make it on time this year. I told her what was going on and she agreed I should stay. I crept back here after you had gone to bed. I watched to see when your light went out."

Nick cupped Jess's face in his hands and gently wiped away her tears with his thumbs.

"Oh boy," Jess exclaimed with a hiccup, "Bonnie dislikes me already, she must really hate me now!"

"I have a message from her for you, on my phone." Nick rummaged in his pocket and found the message his mom had recorded for her. He handed the phone to Jess and pressed play.

Bonnie's voice was crisp and clear "Jess, my Christmas present to you is my beloved son Nicky. He told me what was happening and I agreed that he should be with you on Christmas day. Nobody should be alone for Christmas, least of all the girl that looks after my beloved boy so well and makes him the happiest I've ever seen him."

Jess looked at Nick and smiled to see him blush and look a bit embarrassed.

Bonnie continued " After what you did for us at Walt's funeral, this was the least I could do to make amends for being so mean. You have a good heart Jessica Day. Merry Christmas and I'll see you soon. Love Bonnie. P.S. Stay warm!"

Nick lowered the phone and switched it off. Jess didn't know what to say.

"Your mom has given you to me for Christmas" a smile spread wide on her face as she stared into Nick's deep brown eyes. "That's the best present ever!"

Nick looked down again, a little smile playing on his lips. "Yes, I am to stay here today and tomorrow we both fly out to Chicago. I have an extra ticket booked especially for you. Ma wants you to be with us this year, if that is ok with you."

Jess nods her head madly and grins and throws her arms around Nick in a big hug, holding him tightly. His arms slip round her waist and they stand like that just holding each other in a strong embrace.

When they eventually untangle, she remembers her present, sitting in the tree. Now would be the perfect time to give it to him.

She reaches into the branches and hands him the envelope. "This is your present Nick, I was going to give it to you when you got back from Chicago, but I think you should have it now."

He smiles at her and starts opening the envelope, Jess watching him intently, biting her bottom lip as she does when she is nervous.

"Well I'm guessing you haven't knitted me a sweater." Nick joked as he eased the card out of the envelope. He opens the card and looks down at the written words, and starts to read them out loud.

"_This Christmas I wanted to give you a present that would show you how much I value our friendship and everything you do for me. You are my best friend and my life has changed so much because of you. You've helped me through so much since I've known you, from getting over Spencer and losing my job. You have helped me more than you could ever now. You believed in me when I couldn't. _

_So my gift to you is my heart Nick Miller, because I know it will be in safe hands."_

Nick takes a sharp intake of breath after reading these words and his eyes start to glisten as he stares at Jess. She is bathed in a glow from the twinkling lights and she looks like an angel. Her face is flushed and shy and she can barely look at him. He knows how hard it must have been for her to write those words. She has bared her soul to him.

He lightly puts his hand under her chin and tips her face up to meet his, and stares deeply into her beautiful blue eyes.

His heart is beating so fast, and his palms are sweating a little.

"Jess, I accept your gift and will keep it here next to mine," and he brings her hand to rest over his heart, his other hand still stroking her cheek.

Jess moves closer to him still gazing into his eyes, "I think I love you Nick. I can't help it, and what you've done for me this Christmas is above and beyond mere friendship."

"You mean so much to me Jess, I'd do anything for ya. I think I lo…" but his words were cut off by Jess's mouth planted firmly on his.

His lips felt so soft and warm and she opened her mouth very slightly. Nick took her bottom lip between his, kissing it slowly and repeatedly, moving up to the edge of her mouth and on to her top lip. Very slowly Jess moves her arms around his neck and pulls him closer, the kiss deepening.

After a while they pull apart, Jess's eyes sparkling brightly and a huge smile on her face.

"Oh wow," Nick whispered as he put his forehead against hers. "Oh wow indeed!" she replies.

When they break apart, Jess motioned to the card, "There's something else on the back."

Nick turns the card over and reads aloud again. "_If you say yes, then this card also guarantees unlimited piping hot sex, to be cashed in at anytime!"_

Nick laughed as Jess wiggles her eyes suggestively. And without wasting a moment, grabs he grabs her round the waist and throws her over his shoulder in a fireman's hold and strides purposefully towards his bedroom, Jess giggling all the way.

"This is definitely my best Christmas ever!"

_**The end.**_


End file.
